Week 14. Peer review for 20122 최지우

20122 최지우

http://20122choijiwoo.blogspot.kr/ 

 5 points

• Technically perfect

• Follows the classical argument

• Displays an interesting and unique perspective on a highly specialized topic

• Thought provoking and captivating

• Clearly the product of extensive drafting and research

4 points

• Technically perfect

• Follows the classical argument

• Displays a unique perspective on a highly specialized topic

• Clearly the product of thorough drafting and research

3 points

• Follows the classical argument

• Displays a unique perspective on a highly specialized topic

• Some evidence of drafting and research

2 points

• Displays a unique perspective on a highly specialized topic

0 points

• Incomplete or inadequate
• 
  

Grade
According to the rubric above, what grade would you give this essay? Why?
this essay deserves 4 points. The topic was interesting with the well-structured confirmation.

How does this essay need to improve to get a better grade?
The research needs to improve with more specific explanation. Then, I think it'll be flawless and persuasive

Thesis
What is the thesis?
I agree that he is an altar Portraitist.

Is the thesis clear and debatable?
Yes

If you (The reviewer) wrote this essay, how would you have written the thesis?
He is a certain altar Portraitist. 

Any other thoughts?
As I'm interested in Arts, it seems to be interesting.

Classical Argument
Can you easily identify the 5 parts of the classical argument? If no, what parts are missing?
I can see all the 5 parts of the classical argument.

Does the introduction catch your attention? Does it comfortably lead to the thesis? 
It was good idea to toss a question that reveals the feature of the artists' masterwork, but it seems to be better if there is more specific information about the artist, considering the reader not knowing about him,

Does the narration give all the necessary background information to understand the topic?
Yes, but it could be better if there was additional explanation about Hieronymus Bosch for the readers who don't know about him, including me. 

Does the confirmation adequately support the thesis?
Yes, the confirmation is well-structured with the proper reasons and resources. It was good to see the analysis of the piece.

Does the refutation and concession address a realistic counterpoint? Does it adequately dispute the counterpoint, or respond in a reasonable manner?
I think the counterpoint is reasonable . It was better if there were more specific explanations of the counterpoint.

Does the conclusion summarize the article and address the larger significance of the thesis? 
Yes, the larger significance of the thesis is apparent.

What suggestions do you have for improving the classical argument structure?
i hope there were more explanations of Hieronymus Bosch, for the readers who were ignorant of him.

Persuasion
When you started reading the essay, did you agree or disagree with the thesis? 
I agree with the thesis.

When you finished the essay, did you agree or disagree with the thesis?
I agree with the thesis.

If your mind changed, why? What parts of the essay were persuasive?
I did not change my mind. 

How could the author enhance the persuasive parts of their essay?
It could be better to develop the explanation of the counterpoint. 

Research
Is the author using research effectively? 
Yes

Is the research from appropriate sources?
Yes, proper for the thesis related to art. 

Are the sources obvious?
Yes, the sources are obvious.

Are the pieces of evidence relevant to the thesis or essay?
Yes. it supported the confirmation well.

Are there any parts of the essay that need evidence to support the claims?
As I said, I think the counterpoint on the refeutation and concession needs to be developed.